I am a big believer in accentuating the positive – it’s what I’m all about. It’s how I’ve made the best of my hair, my skin, my body; it’s how a wee girl from Glasgow managed to get herself a career that has lasted for over four decades. But it just goes to show what’s possible, with the right mindset.
I’ve also spent a lot of time in America, where people are generally more positive and can-do, and I think that’s my natural attitude to life. But just as important as what you do for yourself on the outside – all the time and money you spend seeking glowy skin, or shiny hair, or a stylish look – is time that’s spent on the inner you. So here are my suggestions for positive living…
Ask yourself: what did you do today that was positive? Maybe you were extra-kind to someone. Maybe someone paid you a lovely compliment. Perhaps you met a person for the first time who inspired you. Before you go to sleep, go over the positive things that happened to you that day. While we sleep, our mind ‘files’ memories for future reference. If our last thoughts before bedtime are positive, it should help for sweeter dreams – and waking up happier, tomorrow…
Smile. My mum would say, ‘it’s nice to smile at people’ – and she was right, it’s a nice thing to do and there aren’t enough smiles around.
Don’t just smile – laugh! Laugh! If I can’t bust my stress myself, I go and see a movie or a concert with friends – or just get together and have a laugh. Laughter takes you outside yourself…
Rewind the tape when you catch yourself having negative thoughts. As well as accentuating the positive, eliminate the negative. This doesn’t mean turning into Pollyanna – but it does mean stopping yourself from giving space in your head to negative thoughts about yourself, which can so easily creep in. Whenever you catch yourself mentally putting yourself down – telling yourself you’ve ‘never been any good’ at this, or ‘can’t do’ that – stop and pause. Take a breath. Rewind. And remind yourself about something you are good at, or you can do…
Live in the moment. In a world in which there’s way too much to do in too little time, we don’t spend enough of that time just being in the moment. Take a breath. Be here now. Stop, look around you, listen. For a precious moment or two. (Whenever I hear birds chirping in the city, I remember someone saying they’re ‘like little angels singing at you…’) Don’t think about everything that’s on your To Do list, or where you’ve got to be when, or the pile of laundry that’s calling your name: appreciate the view, or the sounds around you, the colours or the way the light’s coming through the window. Hurtling through life makes it go faster all the time, so stop and enjoy the moment. It is the fastest way I know to slow the pace of life down again…
Heighten your appreciation of beauty. Beauty isn’t just about the freshness of youth, or the perfection of supermodels. There’s beauty in almost everything. By all means surround yourself with objects that please your eye, get out into nature and drink it in, and develop your eye by going to art exhibitions and galleries. But the Japanese have a concept call ‘wabi sabi’, which is all about finding beauty in imperfection. So look for the beauty in absolutely everything, not just the obvious places.
Be kind. Kindness is absolutely beautiful. Make time to listen to friends and love your family, but also be kind to strangers. There’s a saying that many of our mothers used: ‘Do as you would be done by’ – which in some Eastern religions is basically the same as karma, or the idea that whatever you do, however you act, will be returned to you. I really believe this, and I try to be kind and polite because I hope that other people will be kind and polite to me. You can see kindness in people’s eyes, and that is really gorgeous…
Be adventurous. Dare to challenge yourself! Once at month, at the very least. do something that’s bold and daring and which other people wouldn’t expect of you. That doesn’t mean you’ve got to sign up for a parachute jump or learn to tightrope-walk, but join a group activity with strangers, or take a course in something you’ve always wanted to learn. Both my sister, and a friend of mine (who live on opposite sides of the world) have both joined a ‘rock choir’ – getting together with a group of people to sing rock songs. Staying interested in the world in this way is actually very good for inner beauty – because that ‘engagement’ is intriguing and attractive to other people.
Be grateful. It’s easy to focus on the ‘if onlys’, and what we don’t have. Sometimes life can be very tough: we lose people we love, or jobs we love, or we don’t get what we hoped for. (Although that’s no reason to stop dreaming…) I like to review my life and be grateful for what I have – in particular the love of friends and family, and good health. In the same way that you review the good things that have happened to you each day, before bedtime check off the things you have to be grateful for. We should take nothing for granted, in this world…
